Today is Day 1
I don’t usually write or produce anything on Day 1. I take this pressure off of myself as my Winter practice. But for Today’s purpose of talking about winterizing, I think it is important to write from such a fresh perspective as Day 1 gives.
My brain parts are slow today. I am in a very lovely tender place of feeling love, connection and humility.
I feel totally loved by my husband who unlike me is doing all the things today. He changed out my headlamps on my car, went to the grocery store twice, cleaned the kitchen, made lunch for me and has two meals he is ready to make for dinners coming up. I feel at peace while he serves me in this way.
I am content to lounge around, resting, stretching, sitting in the sun and watching a drama series that I only pick up in my inner Winter phase.
Let me tell you friends, this place of contentment of relaxing into the flow of Day 1 has been a practice for 5 years and it did not come easy 5 years ago.
Instead, I felt resentful that I couldn’t muster the same energy, felt deficient in some way or just refused the help and tried to martyr my way through the day as painful cramps tried to tell me to stop, to rest, to ask for help. I did not. If and when I did, I felt guilty, ashamed and lazy.
But not today my friends. I feel blissful today.
Winter Needs Prep Work
Look to the squirrels!
Photo by Vincent van Zalinge on Unsplash
Every fall, I laugh watching the squirrels scurry and rush around making all sorts of commotion about their winter prep. They do it loudly and in the open for all to see, that winter is coming. But what if their crazy frantic prep work is something that is supposed to inspire us?
Winterizing is about doing the small stuff so that it doesn’t feel like big stuff when it’s friggin’ cold out and no one wants to go put the coolers from the last BBQ away, or to turn the chairs over because the cold north wind is about to blow everything away.
We tie up loose ends at the end of fall so that we can totally enjoy hibernating when winter comes, and it is coming.
Here in Western North Carolina we had temperatures in the 70’s (F) mid November (which is not normal. But then anything goes in WNC. I should know, I’ve lived here 30-something years). By Thanksgiving it was in the 30’s. This past week we’ve been lucky to hit 30 degrees F. Winter came in swiftly and without warning. This is how inner Winter or week 1 can feel sometimes too. Especially if we aren’t tracking or looking for the signs.
Wait, there are signs that Day 1 is coming?
How do I know that “Winter is Coming”? You may experience some of these at the end of the luteal phase (end of week 4 or last few days before you bleed)…
A strong urge to tackle the last minute list. I call this tying up loose ends.
Nesting
Sleep disturbances and wild dreams
Sudden lack of motivation
Sudden feeling that all is lost
Difficulty following conversations
Loss of words
Sudden clumsiness or lack of coordination
Mental energy drops
Inability to hold emotional space for others
Easily overwhelmed (especially in large social settings)
Sounds like traffic, restaurant noise, loud music, TV or Radio talk shows become suddenly very annoying.
Heaviness in hips and pelvis
Sudden lack of appetite
Inability to make decisions about simple things
Suddenly not wanting to talk or sing
A feeling of being in two worlds. Being in a loud outer world and also feeling deeply inward and silent.
Some months I experience more signs than other months. It can leave me feeling like something is very wrong with me if I didn’t know that these were signs of my menstrual period’s arrival.
One way to communicate this transitional space is to let family and friends know that you are in quiet mode.
If the outer world (friends, family, or if you work with the public) continues to demand your outer energy, you may react in a way that looks anything but quiet. More like explosive mode. This is simply a sign that your need for less stimuli is not being met.
This is when boundaries become essential. There really is no other time quite like the boundaries needed at the end of inner Fall.
I believe this is true of the life phase of Fall too. Many perimenopausal and menopausal women describe how they find themselves unapologetically saying no.
Before the perimenopause phase, each fall phase every month, is extremely important for the pure and simple practice of boundaries. This practice every month is the prep work for a smooth transition into the Fall/Perimenopause phase of life.
Winterizing
Just like some shop for Christmas or buy a heater on sale in July, you can winterize in any phase of the cycle. These are the real preppers. They think about winter all year long. If that’s you, then great, prep for inner Winter any phase you want!
If you are like me, then while you are in other seasons of your menstrual month, you aren’t thinking about winter until it gets cold and dark. That puts us right in the phase of inner Fall. One caveat I will say is that I am very good about putting my predicted inner Winter week on the calender about one month ahead. On my Day 1, I go ahead and make a quick prediction about when I think my cycle will be. Just need the ballpark number to make sure I don’t go crazy with the schedule and forget that it’s coming.
I do my best to keep that week clear starting from Day 28. By clear I mean I don’t add plans that could be literally any other time. You might be surprised how much of our calender we actually make up as we go.
Yeah, but you can’t just stop life!
I may inevitably have things going on but mentally I slow the day down and I’m okay being late for everything and know that I will drop the ball somewhere at the end of Fall.
This is a big mental shift for me as someone who has always had it together. Letting myself down in this way is symbolically like letting my hair down and letting go of my expectations and other’s expectations that I’m doing it all and doing it perfectly. I’m not, and if there is anywhere that this shows up front and center, it’s at the end of Fall or even Day 1/Day 2.
In the past when I tried so hard to keep it all together in those final days into inner Winter, it shocked me when I dropped the ball and it frustrated me and my inner critic was right there to tell me what a screw up I was.
Tying up Loose Ends
Every month there comes this surge of physical and mental energy to get the last minute errands done and off the list before I have to surrender and let go completely.
On that day (usually around Day 25-27) I make a list of what I want to get done before I don’t have the physical and mental or emotional energy to do it.
Here are some examples:
Call the office and schedule an appointment I’ve been dreading (don’t schedule it for winter) put it somewhere in late spring or summer.
Catch up on the budget app
Finish the invoice
Edit a piece of writing (unless the inner critic wants you to toss it, then send it to a friend and ask for a critique and wait til inner winter to read it)
Clean my she-shed/she-cave (I’ll give tips on making one later)
Whatever is planned in my winter do the prep work now
ie. Have a presentation? Pick out clothes and finalize edits. Then walk away and leave it.
Hosting a celebration? Get everything you need for that now and then delegate cleaning your space with plenty of time.
After I finish scurrying around like the crazed squirrel hiding nuts for winter, I like to have a reward like going for a walk or getting time in nature to calm my nervous system from all that running around.
It could also be getting comfy at home with a bath, candle and quiet music or just a simple unwinding yoga session.
She-Shed, She-Cave
Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash
Whichever you want to call it, this is an important part of winter prep. This is your cozy place to hibernate and it is essential.
Once inner Winter sets in, I like to hibernate in my bedroom. That’s my she-cave. My bed is soft, it’s quiet (unless someone is clanging around in the kitchen), it’s cozy with my fairy lights and soft blankets. I have a TV that I typically only use during my winters to watch my sappy historical fiction dramas.
If you have a favorite space in your house away from stimulation, you may want to cozy it up as your she-cave/she-shed.
Traveling With a She-Shed
Photo by Paige Cody on Unsplash
Take your she-shed on the road if you travel. In your winter you will not be travelling light. You may fight yourself as you pack. Do I really need that diffuser, heat pack, eye mask, journal, neck massager, herbal tea bags, fluffy sweater, slippers and favorite blanket? Yes, girl, yes you do! Take it! Take all the things. You will thank yourself later. I promise. Even if you are like, ya know what? I took a lot of stuff. It’s okay. It’s winter. Indulge.
What if inner Winter (Week 1) lands directly on a Monday?
Prep in your Fall week leading up to the weekend, having everything you need for the most chill weekend and start your winter practice on the weekend. You will at least have given yourself lots of rest and self-care before your winter starts and that will give you more energy to get through the week. Also, make your work space a she-shed with small reminders to take small breaks as you can. *Hint- hot hands heat packs make great heat pads for cramp relief. Just be sure to wrap them and tuck them in your pants. Directly on the skin can burn the skin, they get that hot. Oh, but the warmth on an aching back while at a desk can really help get through a rough day.
You don’t have to get knocked over by your inner Winter every month. Just a few little practices of tying up loose ends, winterizing, and making a she-shed can make a big difference by taking the physical, mental, emotional and social stress off. Over time this practice pays back.
That wraps up winterizing prep work. I hope this helps you embrace your inner Winter.
Go With The Flow,
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