Check Engine Light, "ON"

My body started throwing codes

Hello fellow cyclers!

As you may have noticed, I’ve been sparse in my posts lately. My apologies. I’ve not been feeling myself lately, and by lately, I mean since March.

The following post is 3 journal snippets throughout the last month starting May 3rd until today.

Things to know if your are just tapping into this subscription:

Each menstrual phase is divided into 4 weeks and lines up uniquely with the 4 seasons of the year starting with Winter phase/Menstruation/Day 1.

• Winter Phase: Menstruation:Day 1-Day 6ish

• Spring Phase: Follicular: Day 7-Day 12ish

• Summer Phase: Ovulation: Day 13-Day 20ish

• Fall Phase: Luteal: Day 21-Day 28ish

If you are new to my posts, check out how the phases affect every aspect of our lives in my previous posts Winter Spring Summer and Fall.

As far as I can tell I had a crash and burn.

May 3rd 2024

Today is Day 12 of my cycle and I’m writing this on my phone in bed. Not exactly a Spring day.

If I were a car (why not? I’ve used the car analogy in my previous post to describe perimenopause. Check it here for "peri"). If I were a car, my gas light, oil light, check engine light and ABS lights would be flashing. But, I’m getting ahead of myself.

Remember when I posted on exercising with the cycle? Well, I sorta kinda over did it in my Spring phase in March.

I was working out like a fiend after recovering from a particularly rough bout of c*vid/flu or whatever ungodly thing it was back in the winter. When I recovered, I had just researched strength training for middle-aged women and I looked in the mirror and saw that my muscles were diminishing and thought, yes, let’s trim these puppies right up.

I rode the wave of the new energy in Spring and used cycle syncing to get me back at it.

I felt great!

The next month when Spring hit I felt on top of my game. I also neglected to take my own advice and research, on not running out of the gate too fast in Spring, and went full tilt.

What’s a 3 mile run in the morning and 4 mile hike in the afternoon? I mean it’s Day 10, let’s gooo!

In the previous two months before that monumental day, I had been gradually upping my workout and nutrition game to accomodate for the added days at the gym. But after said workout day I decided to rest my legs and wait a couple days before hitting the gym for upper body only. My legs decided it would be much longer. My knee swelled and I went to a PT massage guy and then the chiropractor thinking maybe being out of alignment and working out hard caused some tweaking. After a few weeks I was doing a very light workout at the gym and that night, I had terrible muscle spasms in my legs. A couple days later I went for a very easy stroll and ended up with more spasms that night. The next night I had a tension headache in my neck. And the next, more muscle spasms that pulled so hard it caused bruises. What the heck?

Real photo of me at 3am

May 23rd 2024

Today is day 4 of my cycle (May 23rd). I just had my 3rd appointment with a naturopath doctor recommended to me by the PT massage guy. I saw the doctor in the beginning of April and have had 2 rounds of labs and tests since then.

So what’s going on? Since the muscle spasm episodes, I’ve had extreme fatigue, weight gain, brain fog, dizzy spells when standing up (low blood pressure), insomnia, heart racing, hair loss, muscle twitches, waking up groggy, light-headed episodes that feel like my head is not attached to my body and a few other symptoms like zero motivation to write, cook, do yard work, play, plan, start projects, plus physical depression because I have no motivation or energy.

The craziest part is that my cycles have been feeling the most “normal” that I have ever felt in my life. Just when something improves something else goes, right!?

Here, I’ve been thinking this past year, everything has been perimenopause and my doctor said at my last visit, “maybe it’s not only perimenopause”.

So far the labs are pointing to adrenal exhaustion and hypothyroid. The good news is that from having adrenal burnout many years ago, I know that I can recover. The bad news is that it can take quite some time to fully recover. 

Last time it took a full year to recover fully. But last time my son was a toddler and life was much more demanding then. And that’s the weird thing. My life is very low stress and pretty simple. So what gives? I’ve spent a lot of time reviewing my stressors and energy output and I am perplexed.

All this to say, dear cycler’s, sometimes it’s not “just your cycle” or “just peri”.

Today, I am hopeful. I woke up early. I went for a walk. I went to the grocery store and was back home before 9:30am. This is huge! I only get out the door before 10am if I set my alarm. Today, no alarm needed. I’ve been waking up at 6:30-7am every day for a little over a week now without an alarm. Yes, it still takes me 30-45 minutes to get out of bed but wow, this is new and I’m thankful.

Every day for at least a month (with the exception of about 2 or 3 days) I hit a wall and have to lie down even if I’m wired and tired I just have to lie there. And today, like yesterday, I might sleep an hour in the afternoon. And I am accepting that this is okay. I am seeing improvements.

So I make lists of gratitude whenever I can. Being patient with myself has been the hardest part. And maybe this is the point. Learning to let go of expectations of my body. As much as it does for me, it is unreliable.

When it performs well, I am thankful. When it tanks out, it’s time to let go, seek help, and rest.

So the check engine light is flashing. The endocrine system is overreacting and mis-firing. And the hypothalamus sending or not sending signals is having a trickle down effect on my thyroid, my adrenal glands and my reproductive system.

When it comes to my cycle, the hardest part and maybe the biggest signal is that even though I am cycling regularly, my seasons don’t feel like seasons. Spring (day 7-13) doesn’t have spring energy, Summer (day 14-20) doesn’t bloom, Fall (day 21-29) doesn’t bring on the creativity, and Winter, (day 1- day 6) well, winter still feels like winter without the motivation to take care of myself.

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May 29th 2024

Today is Day 10 of my cycle (May 29th) and now it’s been almost a month since I started this post. I am starting to have more “good” days than “hard days” overall and this is great news.

After a couple good days I tend to hit a hard day and those days can be a little disheartening.

I have decided to make it a top priority to go deep in the woods and “nature bathe” once a week (something I was doing but somehow got out of rhythm doing it).

All of this to say, dear cyclers, having been tracking for over 4 years now, it helped tremendously to have a log of when I started crashing. And when more diary days had Fatigue as a big red flag, combined with other check engine light type symptoms, it was good to find a doctor that would understand and very holistically and dectectively (that’s not a word), begin digging and asking the right questions and ordering the right blood work.

If you start to get a grocery list of symptoms going, even if you are in perimenopausal years, I highly recommend finding a trustworthy doctor that you can take your medical history to and all your piles of vitamins to, without shame, and let them help you sort it all out.

I am now on a new protocol of supplements and tinctures and adrenal cocktails and protocols for waking and sleeping and now adding yoga and nature into the picture as well.

Now that I am starting to get small spurts of motivation to write again, I hope to continue to impart my geeky researchy knowledge and maybe get a bit philosophical as big questions arise concerning Women’s Cycle Awareness.

How am I going with the flow?

• One day at a time

• Overthinking

• Over-researching

• Praying and praising God

• Finding nature

• Finding gratitude

• Hoping to let go of figuring it all out

• Trusting my new doctor

• Telling myself “it’s okay to lie down, even if I can’t sleep”.

Have you ever experienced debilitating fatigue or other symptoms that seemed to short circuit your cycle’s energies?

Thanks for your patience during my shutdown, I hope to bring more topics and awareness posts soon…