To The Guys Who Want to Know!
Decoding the 4 phases of a woman's monthly cycle in 5 minutes!
Okay this Newsletter is for the guys. So if you have some guys near you go ahead and grab them by sharing this post. I’m giving them just the highlights of women’s cycle awareness, because you know what? They want to know what-the-what’s going on, right?! How many times have you heard, “guys are clueless”. And when it comes to how we run, yes they are, and that’s because we have been “clueless” too.
Alright, so I know you don’t want a bunch of words so here is a quick run-down:
Women have 4 phases (of course they are not the same every day)
Women have a period every 20-something to 30-something days
Women can vary in the length of their cycle (the time from the first day of their period to the last day before the next period)
What changes throughout the month? Everything. Absolutely everything.
Here it is in a nutshell:
❄️Week 1- lets call it Winter❄️/ Menstruation phase (Day 1-6ish)❄️Inward Energy
She is bleeding this week. Every woman is different in how she experiences her menstruation. Some bleed as short as 3 days while others experience bleeding for upwards of 8 or more days. And she may feel completely worn out, in pain, emotional, and or foggy brained to mention a few. But if you want to know how she feels during this time, ask her.
Many women need to: get some alone time, maybe to know you care about her, and she needs help. Like draw a bath or light a candle or bring her chocolate or a heating pad kind-of-help but also physical help for things she needs, like taking out the trash and cleaning the kitchen kind-of-help. But not taking out that wall and building a closet kind-of-help.
If you aren’t sure what she needs, be gentle and ask her how you can help her. Some women really want to be alone and others want to feel loved and comforted.
🌱Week 2- Spring🌱/Follicular phase (Day 6ish- day 13ish)🌱Outward Energy
No more bleeding and possibly lots of energy. She needs/wants to get up and at it. She goes from turtle mode to rabbit mode. She might run you over if you are too slow. This is list making week and project week for her as her mental abilities heighten and her physical energies increase.
You can help her by letting her tackle her lists. You do you, but you may notice when she notices you.
She will have more outgoing energy this week and is a good time for her to make plans and goals. She may have more adventurous and spontaneous energy this week.
The last few days leading into summer are prime baby making time so make note for whatever your plans are in this area.
🌷Week 3-Summer🌷/Ovulation (Day 13ish-day 20ish)🌷Outward Energy
Girls just wanna have fun in summer, right? This is a great time to hit the road and take a vacation together or go out and see people or a show. You might notice that she notices you even more!
This is a great time for you to communicate and talk with her. This is her time to be her most open-minded self.
You and everyone else will notice her subtle but exquisite glow. You can support her by letting her beauty shine!
This is baby making week, so if that is not on the agenda for your relationship then use wise choices.
One big challenge: overcommitting. If she over commits this week, she might flake out later when she shifts gears next week.
🍂Week 4- Fall🍂/Luteal phase (Day 21ish-day 28ish)🍂 Inward Energy
This week can be a long one for her. Her body is gearing down in hormones and can cause her to be more sleepy and a bit prickly. Women who lack enough progesterone are susceptible to PMS symptoms and other physical symptoms.
This is the week to be most supportive by listening and giving space.
She doesn’t need to be “fixed”, just heard. She is sorting through the last 3 weeks and processing it all now. She needs space to do this or she might feel frustrated. This is the time for her to focus more on herself and tend to her newly evolving needs.
“What do I need?” Is her over-riding question and she needs to hear herself respond to this and take care of her.
At the end of week 4, all of her hormones are bottoming out and so is her immune system.
The more she is encouraged to slow down by allowing the calendar to go un-planned, the more relaxed she can be. Many years of societal pressure to always be that summer girl that does everything and supports everyone and says yes to everyone’s needs except her own, can make this transitional phase especially difficult. Boundaries and letting go are the practices in this phase.
What about me?
You are very much apart of this process.
If she knows her infradian rhythm (28 day menstrual cycle) and tracks it she can better communicate with you what her specific needs and desires are.
You have needs too. If you track your circadian rhythm (your 24-hour cyclical day) you will know your needs as your phases happen throughout the day.
You will be compassed by her and learn her deeply. She will be your moon and you will be her sun. *hint- she has the same phases as the moon and you have the same phases as the sun. Pretty cool.
If you are curious about the details of each phase check out my Seasons Change Series
As a guy, I didn’t know mood changes in 4 phases.
I had thought of it as period or no period. So that was informative.
Very wonderfully written, Jess, thanks for writing one for the guys!