The Basics: What our sex-ed teacher didn't know

Here’s what I knew about myself for the first 26 years that I had a period. Yes, 26 years is a long time, my friends. I knew that for a perceived 3-ish days before my period I could be emotional, irrational, irritated and generally not super fun to be around. Those days, I tried my best to stuff the feelings, lest they should come tumbling out onto poor innocent bystanders (mostly my family). These feelings are termed by the medical community, PMS. If however, it was pointed out that maybe I was pms’ing I felt I was being dismissed as just another crazy girl. I tried for years to ignore myself completely for those PMS days hoping that they weren’t too noticeable.

Here’s what else I knew. Since the first year that I started my period, in my teens, I had debilitating cramps. And when I say debilitating, I mean that I took days off of school, left work early, or brought heating pads to work with me, took ibuprofen to hold off the pain and generally suffered through it. I stuffed this excruciating part of my life too. I doubt many people other than my very close family knew how much pain I was in every month. I carried on like so many women do. And that’s it. That is all that I knew about my cycle. yes, I knew hormones were in charge of ovulation and periods, that was basic sex-ed stuff.

What I didn’t know and not many people do (even doctors and sex ed teachers) is that hormones are in charge of dynamic energy shifts happening every single day on every energy level from physiological, sexual, psychological, mental and spiritual. Period.

Ready to dive in?

The menstrual cycle is divided into two major energies. They are outward energy and inward energy. Think about it like oceanic tides. High tide is outward energy and low tide is inward energy.

For a woman, the outward energy begins when bleeding comes to an end. This is when hormone levels, namely, testosterone and estrogen begin to rise. The tidal energy is coming in. Naturally having testosterone rising she will feel motivated and competitive among a host of other energies that I will dive into in later articles. This is known as the follicular phase when the uterus gets ready for ovulation.

Outward energy continues into the next phase known as ovulation. This can be thought of as high tide. At high tide there is a pause when the water is at its highest peak. This too is the case with estrogen, the driving force for ovulation to occur. Of course, this isn’t a one man show, testosterone and luteinizing hormone are also peaking followed by the follicular hormone into one big crescendo and then all hormones drop down, releasing and egg, as progesterone begins to rise up. Energy levels are at their fullest potential to get that egg fertilized. This energy plays out as flirtatious and expressive among other energies as well. Again, I’ll dive deeper later.

Now comes the really big shift in energy going from outward for nearly two weeks to a transition inward. This energy shift can often be felt abruptly if not radically. Like one day I’m on the dance floor smiling and the next morning I don’t want to talk to anyone. This sudden jolt can feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me.

The luteal phase is characterized by a slowing down and a pulling away and can feel turbulent just like the receding tide. Durig this time, testosterone remains mostly low along with estrogen being lower than progesterone. The calming influence of progesterone causes a natural time for introspection and creative flow. This is also the time that unstable emotions creep in and the unwanted symptoms of PMS make their appearance. The body is gearing up to make a baby and cannot be bothered with the fast pace of the world. This can cause a clash in what a woman wants versus what she needs.

Lastly, low tide, or menses, comes when the egg is not fertilized and the body recognizes this and there is once again a shift in hormone levels as all hormones suddenly drop off. This is when the uterus can shed the lining and bleeding starts the first day of a woman’s period. This day is known as Day 1. This actually marks the first day of a woman’s menstrual cycle. This very low energy is felt on every front. Physically it feels like walking through mud. Mentally words that used to come easily are just gone. Emotionally fragile and spiritually dead, this is the time to rest and restore.

Are women complicated? You bet! Is every woman uniquely different? Yes. But what is the same for every menstruating woman is that they have these vast energy shifts and that knowing they are coming reduces the complication. The menstrual cycle is very much like a weather forecast. It may not be 100% accurate every day but you most certainly can plan around it. And not just around it. For it! With these four phases come some amazing abilities and challenges. Every week there is something to uncover and utilize.

If you have stayed with me this far, you are doing great. This chart above looks like a five year-old-drew a rainbow of crazy rollercoasters. And sometimes it feels like a five-year-old is behind the wheel. But don’t let that deter you from your quest to uncover the mysteries of what it is to be a woman. There are many ways to uncover these secrets and nature is showing us. The coastal tides are one way to see it. Next up, I’ll show you how the moon also reflects the phases of the cycle and my opinion of how women are so closely connected to the moon.

Until then, I found this poem excerpt to closely line up with what I’ve been saying. Enjoy.

“Half of me is filled with bursting words and half of me is painfully shy. I crave solitude yet also crave people. I want to pour life and love into everything yet also nurture my self-care and go gently I want to live withing the rush of primal, intuitive decision, yet also wish to sit and contemplate. This is the messiness of life- that we all carry multitudes, so must sit with the shifts. We are complicated creatures, and ultimately, the balance comes from this understanding. Be water. Flowing, flexible and soft. Subtly powerful and open. Wild and serene. Able to accept all changes, yet still led by the pull of steady tides. It is enough.”

-Victoria Erickson

There is so much more to uncover, and I can’t wait to dish it out. Women’s cycle awareness is the awareness that we as women are shifting and changing every single day, yet it’s cyclic which means we can be ready for it and even look forward to it. It also means awareness for men and children as well. The men in our lives want to know who we are, and they want to know how to support us. If we know ourselves, we can better communicate this to them. If they know our cycles, they will understand us better. Our children want to please us and if they know we are not the same all the time, they will know how to love us in each phase. And we, understanding ourselves better, can be honest with those around us.

Ready for more? …stay tuned.